The Ultroom Error Page 3

to come along at all, you know," Arvid 6 said.

  "How well I know! How sorry I am that I ever did! It was only becauseI was sorry for you, because someone older and more experienced thanyou was needed. I volunteered. Imagine that! I volunteered! Tendal 13reaches the height of stupidity and volunteers to help Arvid 6 go back6,000 years to bring Kanad back, to correct a mistake Arvid 6 made!"He snorted. "I still can't believe I was ever that stupid. I onlyprove it when I pinch myself and here I am.

  "Oh, you've been a joy to be with! First it was that hunt in ancientMycenae when you let the lion escape the hunters' quaint spears and wewere partly eaten by the lion in the bargain, although you dazzled thehunters, deflecting their spears. And then your zest for drink when wewere with Octavian in Alexandria that led to everybody's amusement butours when we were ambushed by Anthony's men. And worst of all, thatEnglish barmaid you became engrossed with at our last stop in 1609,when her husband mistook me for you and you let him take me apartpiece by piece--"

  "All right, all right," Arvid 6 said. "I'll admit I've made somemistakes. You're just not adventurous, that's all."

  "Shut up! For once you're going to listen to me. Our instructionsspecifically stated we were to have as little as possible to do withthese people. But at every turn you've got us more and more enmeshedwith them. If that's adventure, you can have it." Tendal 13 sat downwearily and sank his head in his hands. "It was you who conceived theidea of taking Reggie right out of his play pen. 'Watch me take thatchild right out from under its mother's nose' were your exact words.And before I could stop you, you did. Only you forgot an importantfactor in the equation--the dog, Tiger. And you nursed a dogbite mostof the afternoon before it healed. And then you took your spite out onthe poor thing by suggesting suffocation to it that night.

  "And speaking of that night, you remember we agreed I was to do thetalking. But no, you pulled a switch and captured Martin Laughton'sattention. 'I came as soon as I could, Martin,' you said. And suddenlyI played a very minor role. 'This is my new assistant, Dr. Tompkins,'you said. And then what happened? I get shot in the legs and you get ahole in your back. We were both nearly obliterated that time and wedidn't even come close to getting the child.

  "Still you wanted to run the whole show. 'I'm younger than you,' yousaid. 'I'll take the wheel.' And the next thing I know I'm floating inspace halfway to nowhere with two broken legs, a spinal injury,concussion and some of the finest bruises you ever saw."

  * * * * *

  "These twentieth century machines aren't what they ought to be," Arvid6 said.

  "You never run out of excuses, do you, Arvid? Remember what you saidin the Ultroom when you pushed the lever clear over and transferredKanad back 6,000 years? 'My hand slipped.' As simple as that. 'My handslipped.' It was so simple everyone believed you. You were given noreal punishment. In a way it was a reward--at least to you--getting togo back and rescue the life germ of Kanad out of each era he'd be bornin."

  Tendal 13 turned and looked steadily and directly at Arvid 6. "Do youknow what I think? I think you deliberately pushed the lever over asfar as it would go _just to see what would happen_. That's how simpleI think it was."

  Arvid 6 flushed, turned away and looked at the floor.

  "What crazy things have you been doing since I've been gone?" Tendal13 asked.

  Arvid 6 sighed. "After what you just said I guess it wouldn't amuseyou, although it has me. They got to me right after the accidentbefore I had a chance to collect my wits, dematerialize oranything--you said we shouldn't dematerialize in front of anybody."

  "That's right."

  "Well, I didn't know what to do. I could see they thought I was drunk,so I was. But they had a blood sample before I could manufacture anyalcohol in my blood, although I implanted a memory in them that Ireeked of it." He laughed. "I fancy they're thoroughly confused."

  "And you're thoroughly amused, no doubt. Have they questioned you?"

  "At great length. They had a psychiatrist in to see me. He was a queerfellow with the most stupid set of questions and tests I ever saw."

  "And you amused yourself with him."

  "I suppose you'd think so."

  "Who do you tell them you are?"

  "John Smith. A rather prevalent name here, I understand. Imanufactured a pasteboard called a social security card and a driver'slicense--"

  "Never mind. It's easy to see you've been your own inimitable self.Believe me, if I ever get back to the Ultroom I hope I never see youagain. And I hope I'll never leave there again though I'm rejuvenatedthrough a million years."

  "Was Kanad's life germ transferred all right this time?"

  Tendal 13 shook his head. "I haven't heard. The transfers are gettingmore difficult all the time. In 1609, you'll remember, it was a caseof pneumonia for the two-year-old. A simple procedure. It wouldn'twork here. Medicine's too far along." He produced a notebook. "Thelast jump was 342 years, a little more than average. The next ought tobe around 2250. Things will be more difficult than ever there,probably."

  "Do you think Kanad will be angry about all this?"

  "How would you like to have to go through all those birth processes,to have your life germ knocked from one era to the next?"

  "Frankly, I didn't think he'd go back so far."

  "If it had been anybody but Kanad nobody'd ever have thought of goingback after it. The life germ of the head of the whole galactic systemwho came to the Ultroom to be transplanted to a younger body--and thensending him back beyond his original birth date--" Tendal 13 got upand commenced his pacing again. "Oh, I suppose Kanad's partly toblame, wanting rejuvenating at only 300 years. Some have waited athousand or more or until their bones are like paper."

  "I just wonder how angry Kanad will be," Arvid muttered.

  _HB92167. Ultroom Error. Tendal 13. Arvid 6. Kanad transfer out of 1951 complete. Next Kanad transfer ready. 2267. Phullam 19, son of Orla 39 and Rhoda R, 22H Level M, Hemisphere B, Quadrant 3, Sector I. Arrive his 329th Day._

  _TB92167_

  * * * * *

  Arvid 6 rose from the cot and the two men faced each other.

  "Before we leave, Arvid," Tendal 13 started to say.

  "I know, I know. You want me to let you handle everything."

  "Exactly. Is that too much to ask after all you've done?"

  "I guess I have made mistakes. From now on you be the boss. I'll dowhatever you say."

  "I hope I can count on that." Tendal 13 rang the jail buzzer.

  The jailer unlocked the cell door.

  "You remember the chief said it's all right to take him with me,Matthews," Tendal 13 told the jailer.

  "Yes, I remember," the jailer said mechanically, letting them both outof the cell.

  They walked together down the jail corridor. When they came to anotherbarred door the jailer fumbled with the keys and clumsily triedseveral with no luck.

  Arvid 6, an amused set to his mouth and devilment in his eyes, watchedthe jailer's expression as he walked through the bars of the door. Helaughed as he saw the jailer's eyes bulge.

  "Arvid!"

  Tendal 13 walked briskly through the door, snatched Arvid 6 by theshoulders and shook him.

  The jailer watched stupified as the two men vanished in the middle ofa violent argument.

  * * * * *